I'm just trying to give the people what they want

Needless to say, I'll be ordering take out more often.

I was reading over my notes on Lawrence v. Texas in order to form my outline for Constitutional Law. I found the following funny typo:

A Texas statute made it a crime for two persons of the same sex to engage in certain intimate sexual cats.

Bahahaha.

PS: Did I say you wouldn't be hearing from me because of exams? What I meant is that I will be posting several times DAILY in order to procrastinate. You're welcome.

From one of my favorite sites

Dear Bloggess, I just paid about $20,000 for law school, which there is no way I can get back. Unfortunately, I also just discovered I hate law school. What should I do? Love, Meg

Spray paint a big C in the Law School’s sign so it looks like it says “Claw School” and then tell them that you thought you were paying to get a degree in fixing claws and ask when the claw lessons start. Then when they explain that this is law school and that claw school doesn’t even exist threaten to sue them for false advertising. Tell them you’ll settle for $20,000 and then if they say no, go to class and constantly interrupt the professor to ask questions about claws and when he doesn’t know the answers be all “WHAT KIND OF CLAW PROFESSOR ARE YOU?” Evenutally you’re going to get your money back. Or end up in jail. In which case your law training will come in handy so I hope you were occasionally listening in class and not just thinking up new claw questions.

Read more: http://askthebloggess.pnn.com/articles/show/51696-high-school-sucks-for-everyone#ixzz0YBTzqLCh

What I am doing instead of studying for constitutional law:

Trying to change the lyrics of Amber's 1999 vomit inducing smash hit song "Sexual" to a song about Antonin Scalia called "Textual."



Don't make this multi-dimensional
The way I feel is textual
The way I feel is textual
I'm oh-so-intellectual
The way I feel is textual
The way I feel is textual
When appeals are next to me

And so on and so forth.

exams are just around the corner. don't expect to hear much from me until they end. except sobbing. you'll probably hear some of that.

happy t-day.

Self Deception

Although I appreciate the maniacal, hilarious rantings of the vast number of unhappy blogging attorneys on the internet, the horror of their varied employment situations can be somewhat terrifying. I mean, am I destined for a life of disappointment and regret? Is this any indication that I will never be as witty/successful/corny as Jack McCoy? Am I making a huge mistake??

But, alas! Not to worry! Being that I am one of the greatest legal minds of our time, I've come up with an excellent justification for my continued halfhearted pursuit of a law degree:

MAYBE there are lots of attorneys who love their jobs...but they are so busy with their exciting jobs and families and yoga routines that they don't have time to blog. Plus, it would be really boring to read about their perfect lives anyway...So they spare us.

Surely that's the only explanation of why there are no I <3 lawyering blogs on the internet....

Right?

Business Casual

I hate when you go on an interview, and the interviewer thinks he's doing you a favor by telling you to dress "business casual." Maybe it's different if you're a man, but as a woman, this just complicates things. I just want to wear my standard suit. It's like a uniform. It's comfortable and I don't have to think about what to put on. As long as I actually remember to put on the pants before I leave the house, this outfit is pretty much a slam dunk.

But business casual? What does that mean...Slacks? A skirt? Collared shirt or sweater? Maybe a fancy tank top with a nice cardigan? Can I just screw it and wear a suit anyway? Does that make me seem stuffy? (Even if I forget the pants?) What if I am not dressed up enough? What if I get confused and slap on a pair of khakis and a Blockbuster polo shirt?

Businesses of America, let's make this easier on everyone. YOU don't have to wear a suit. Hell, you can interview me in a toga if you want to, but I am going to wear a suit. It will be dark and tailored and boring. And you're going to like it.

Case from my EU law book...

"In Kreil, on the other hand, the applicant was challenging a more general prohibition under German law which barred women from military posts involving the use of arms, and allowed them access to only the medical and military-music services."

Military music services??? Lame.

Hilarious/Sad Question

Friend: Do you think hearsay will be on the evidence exam?

Self: Disbelief, confusion, maniacal laughter...

Party Time

It's time to print out all of this semester's notes so I can start working on outlines. I was feeling bad about TOTALLY DOMINATING the only printer on campus because only ONE in the library currently works...but then the next kid in line to print something out was wearing a homemade "tea party" t-shirt that said:

SECURI-TEA!!

DAMN THE LIBERAL FASCISTS!!!

And that was only the back.

So like the liberal fascist I am, I decided not to tell him how many pages I was printing. It's been about 45 minutes, and the printer is still slowly trucking through all the notes I took this semester. He is shooting me dirty looks. But I don't care, I have my computer screen facing him and am very clearly perusing moveon.org.

Suck on that, Teabags.

Why Law Review Sucks

In my environmental law class we're talking about hazardous waste disposal sites. Like a good student, I've been attempting to take notes.

BUT EVERY TIME I TRY TO WRITE "SITE" I WRITE "CITE."

So I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank law review for taking over my schedule, my sanity, and now, finally, my ability to spell.

I htae yuo lwa reievw.

My fears are confirmed, Above the Law says so:

If you think law school looks like a terrible financial investment, you are correct

Terrible Morning:

The statute of limitations on my milk had run, and I didn't figure it out until I had already poured it all over my cereal.

Why I don't want to be a defense attorney:

In a trial on distribution of cocaine, a prosecutor is questioning the defendant on the stand:

Q: You didn't see any actual drugs?

A: No, sir.

Q: Would you know what they looked like if you saw them?

A: Yes, it's advertised on TV, too, sometimes in the commercials

Q: You see drugs advertised on TV?

A:Yes, you know, on news or something like that.

Q: And that's the only time you've ever seen drugs?

A: Roughly, yes.

Q: Roughly?

A: Yes.

The prosecutor then went on to prove that the defendant had failed three drug tests during the course of his pre-trial release.

United States v. Copelin, 996 F.2d 379 (D.C. Cir 1993).

The Grass Is Greener

Today I got to be on the other side of the fence for once. I recently interviewed for a part-time job with a local plaintiff's firm. The firm placed an ad with School of Law specifically requesting a current law student. During the interview, the partners basically told me they were looking for someone to do data entry 25 hours a week. Two questions:

1. Why are you trying to get a law student to do data entry?

I actually asked them if they thought I would learn anything about their practice and they said: Well, you would learn how important it is to have good data entry. So that's a no.

I don't mind a little administrative work. Actually, I've done it many times before. But you don't need a law student to do that for you. It may sound pretentious, but don't waste my time--I need to learn legal practical skills, not how to use Excel.

2. What law student has 25 hours a week to devote to anything?

Again, you do not need a law student to do this work. I don't even have time to study for 25 hours a week (unless you're the Dean of School of Law, in which case I study 50 hour s a week and you should give me a scholarship). I had to hold back in the interview from recommending the firm try to recruit a part time fashion merchandising student for this job. That's who has 25 hours a week.

On the other hand, the partners were very nice and up front with me. They could have lied to me about the position and then blindsided me with the data-entry-job-from-hell. So I appreciate that.

Nonetheless, when they called to offer me the job today, it was extremely therapeutic after the many rejections I have endured to be able to thank them for their employment offer and gracefully TURN. IT. DOWN.

LegalEase: 1
Law Firms: 234

But hey, 1 is a start!