30 October 2009

Role Reversal

Earlier this semester I befriended an LLM student at a law school social event. She was a cool girl and I felt a lot of sympathy for her since she came to study here from another country. I remember what it was like to be the lonely foreign kid, so I was happy to include her in our group. (Nobel Peace Prize nomination forms available here) In fact, I kept inviting her out after that, but she never responded.

No matter, due in large part to my megalomaniacal tendencies, I've been giving myself a three-month pat on the back for being such a kind and gracious person. Seriously, I've been secretly congratulating myself for weeks on the great strides I've clearly made international relations. (I'm just saying, there might already be a self nomination for the Nobel...You'll notice on the site there's no modesty requirement) Despite my ever-growing popularity among my peers I remain a champion for the meek! An advocate for the lonely! A...

Fast forward.

Today I was at lecture on campus from a World Bank VP. I knew no one there. There was seriously like a 30 foot radius between me and the closest student in the room. To the speaker, it probably looked like the entire classroom had taken out a restraining order on me. In the mean time, my poor, lonely, charity case LLM student was surrounded by pals. I'm sure if she had seen me she would have invited me over to sit with her, but she looked so cool and foreign and exotic I doubt she even noticed I was there.



Who's the lonely foreign kid now?

27 October 2009

Fitting In

School of Law fitness center provides endless fodder for my blog...Today I observed a gal in full workout gear--sweat pants, trendy fitted men's v-neck t, nikes--with flawless make up, hair, and a pearl necklace.

Good thing I'm already promised to Brandon Walsh. I could never compete with these stepford wives ladies.

gChat

Attended a seminar on China's restructuring of state owned enterprises. The speaker was really great, but had a minor metaphor mix-up:

"China didn't just throw out the bathwater with the baby. It recycled the bathwater, and kept the baby!"

LegalEase:
It's funny to hear him say that China didn't throw out the bathwater with the baby. So close, yet so far.

LR: Haha. China would never keep the baby...overpopulation.

26 October 2009

Outlines

The key to law school success is a great outline for the exam, preferably written by someone else. My 3L friend was kind enough to send me one of hers, and I forwarded it on to a friend in my Constitutional Law class. His response:

You are awesome. Thank you. I'm expecting these to be for [Con Law professor's] lectures what the Rosetta Stone was for hieroglyphics.

Want the outline? Pile on the praise and don't forget the sarcasm.

21 October 2009

Hahaha...Death From Above!!!



20 October 2009

Barf Bag

Today as I was working out, some girl showed up with a Louis Vuitton gym bag.

Only at School of Law fitness center would this happen.

If I pawned that shit (she deserves it) I could pay for like 4 days of class. Instead I just tried to work out hard enough to barf, so I could use her sack to contain my vomit.


14 October 2009

Things I have been doing instead of posting incessantly:

As long as I'm home alone when I watch this show, I can pretend I'm good enough to be on it. And practice. Just in case the law career doesn't pan out.

Obsessively watching 90210 has lead me to seek ways to call off my wedding and elope with Brandon. Not to worry, PR is fully apprised of the situation. He "doesn't feel threatened." Psshh.

Helping my parents finish up their taxes before the government hauls them away for life.


Trying not to commit murder (although I'd argue mitigating circumstances could bring this down to manslaughter) when the girl next to me at the gym chats on her cell phone while on the elliptical for half an hour.

Things I have not been doing:
Understanding Evidence
Understanding Environmental Law
Understanding Constitutional Law
Showering

11 October 2009

Why I won't get any work done this week:

http://supremecourt.c-span.org/Default.aspx

I mean, if I'm going to be appointed to the Supreme Court by the time I'm 24 (thanks, unscrupulous Obama aides), I should probably start preparing.

09 October 2009

Case Note.

The Challenge: Write 15 pages in 6 hours.

The Contender: One lazy law student with a penchant for Bluebook errors

The Prize: Not getting kicked off law review.

Wait a minute, that is not a prize. I'm getting shafted.

05 October 2009

Trading Places.

Today one of my classmates sent out an email asking someone in our class to cover for her. It was her day to explain the reading, but she was sick and couldn't make it to class.

I don't know her, but I felt bad for her so I told the professor I would take over for her today. (Feel free to canonize me any time...) After class the professor emailed us both and told her she could cover for me next week.

But I'd really prefer it if she'd just come over and unload my dishwasher...Too much to ask?

03 October 2009

Loud and Clear

Just in case I didn't get the message from my phone call with Big Law, the firm also decided to send me a rejection letter later in the week. I guess they just want to be really clear that they have no interest in employing me this summer. What's next, a restraining order?

01 October 2009

No Such Thing as a Free Lunch

For those of you hell bent on knowing more about my oh-so-interesting personal life, PR and I are getting married this summer at a resort in Mexico. And now that I know I won't have a summer job that will conflict with the wedding date (thanks, Big Law) we're finally sending out our Save-the-Date cards.

The company helping us plan the destination wedding provides free cards, which is awesome. They are a little cheesy...but the less work I have to do, the better chance PR has of marrying a live bride on our wedding day. We had four pictures to choose from. PR liked this one:


Now look a little closer


I think we should change the text to, "Please save the date. And also your dog is invited."

Isn't that romantic??