Eek!

Here's a really freakin' scary name for a law: The Anti Terrorism and Effective Death Penalty Act.

Two notes:
1. Judging from the name, you do not want to be on the wrong side of that law.

2. I would be really uncomfortable passing that law if I were a senator. I would probably move to name it something like the Bunnies and Rainbows Take an Eternal Nap Law. 

Pre-Trial Procedure, you shall be my Waterloo.

Studying

If Federal Courts kills me, do you think the the United States will waive immunity so Brandon Walsh can sue for wrongful death?

Job Posting at School of Law

The firm is not seeking a specifically regimented skill set in the successful candidate. Rather, the firm seeks a candidate with the rare combination of a thoughtful personality, open mind, charming style and the intestinal fortitude to consistently seek justice in our courts. [emphasis added]


I'm sorry, INTESTINAL fortitude?  


Those with weak stomachs need not apply. Will consider candidates who commit to a diet consisting entirely of Activia. 

New Exam Addiction

Exams mean hysterics, lethargy, and junk food. My newest addiction: chocolate covered sunflower seeds. But Brandon Walsh will probably leave me if I don't stop leaving a trail of them all around the house. I can't help it. They are so tiny and sometimes when I am pouring four thousand of them in to my mouth at the same time, a few slip out. ITS A TRAIL, BRANDON WALSH, IT HELPS ME FIND MY WAY BACK TO THE COMPUTER. Haven't you ever head of Hansel and Gretel?!! (Sobbing ensues)

Exams Gone By

I don't want to blog about exams for fear that I will have an immediate nervous breakdown. But I did remember something from last year's exams that made me smile.

I called Intense Friend to ask a question about something I was studying, and she picked up the phone whispering. I asked her where she was. Her reply:

"I'm in the undergrad library, it's quieter than the law library."

And that, folks, is why she is Intense Friend.

Glad I'm Not a Reporter

I know it's a big deal, but it's sort of hard to take this Icelandic volcanic eruption seriously when the name of the volcano is Eyjafjallajokull.

Is this Iceland's idea of a practical joke?

On the Up-and-Up

Although it nearly resulted in calling off our wedding and/or a double homicide, Brandon Walsh and I were able to work together to install a new screen into my laptop! (Thank you for the idea, law:/dev/null!!) I can actually see what I am typing, and my fingers are no longer on strike for more square footage (inch-age?) on the keyboard! Plus, I can call off the dogs on that Chapter 13 bankruptcy I was planning on filing for in order to pay for a new computer. 


In other news, my law journal sent me an email today to let me know that they want to publish my comment in our latest edition! I am surprised and super humbled (I'll be handing out autographed copies in my living room all next week) and honored...and I'd like to thank red wine and straws for much of my success.* Of course, I have to have a publish-able version ready by the last day of exams, so it will be a time crunch, but if anyone can do it, it's Brandon Walsh me! ...Just kidding, law review, I swear I will do it all by myself!


Also, I am fairly certain that I will be appointed to the Supreme Court any day now: 
Senate Democrats' wish list for high court: Someone with non-Ivy background

So you could say that this week is shaping up quite nicely.

*However, I would like to reserve the remaining portion of my success for myself exclusively to roll around in for the next seventeen to thirty years.

Reminders...

A few weeks ago I was reading this post, Destination Lawyer, on Useless Dicta thinking how great it must feel for this blogger to finally be where she had always imagined. Her post especially resonated with me because I constantly feel like I'm just going through the motions--college, law school, internships--waiting for my real life to start. I found out today that Useless passed away suddenly in February from a blood clot associated with a minor skiing accident she was in. Of course, I never knew her, but I am still shocked and sad. She was a witty writer with a lot of spunk.

I find myself all the time wishing for time to pass faster. For exams to be over, for law school to be finished, to have a job and a family and a real life. But events like this are a reminder: my life is real now. And instead of wishing for a fast forward button, I should try to hit pause from time to time and appreciate life just the way it is.

Happy trails, Useless. You will be missed.

Now That's Patriotism!

Some of the Rich Ask for Higher Taxes

In the alternative, I would propose that some of the rich pay off my student loans. But you know, whatever.

WHY

After the great screen crack of 2010, I went out and got a netbook to tide myself over until exams. I had to install a bunch of new programs, including the software for my wireless printer. Netbooks don't have disk drives, so I had to download the printer software from the internet. I managed to find the correct download and everything, only to realize after installation that the program had somehow installed in Spanish.

No problem, I figured, I habla espanol just fine, I can navigar a printer.

Oh. Except I can't even figure out how to use computers IN ENGLISH. So tonight, as I am trying to scan a check in to my bank account, the computer decides to send photos of me (via the built in web cam) to the bank instead of scanning my checks. And now I have been locked out of my online banking because they suspect fraud.

Well someone is going to have a good laugh tomorrow when they get 40 photos of me staring at the screen looking perplexed and trying to recall which word means STOP in Spanish.

Gracias, computer.

Epiphany

Did you know that Lexis Nexis has online support chatting 24/7? AMAZING. I made some new friends last night while working on my cite check at 1:00am. I've always been a Westlaw fan, but DavidH and AshleyD have really given me some perspective. And found me like 2349807 obscure treaties in about seven minutes flat.

I love you DavidH, I love you AshelyD, and I love you Lexis.

Why didn't I think of this?

This does not bode well for my exam performance

Instead of thinking about exams this weekend, I went back home to celebrate Easter with my family. And dropped my laptop on the tile floor.

Cracked Screen.

Broken Heart.

Destroyed Life.

Exam Failure = Imminent.