As a rite of passage (aka hazing tactic) School of Law requires all 1Ls to compete in an oral advocacy competition. Basically what this means is we have to get up in front of a panel of judges and persuade them to take our side on a certain legal issue...without drugging any of their drinks. (This is the hard part) Then another team gets up and tries to persuade the judges to take the opposite side. (No flashies allowed...damn) It's essentially just legal tug-of-war--think less mud but more mud-slinging.

I was dreading this competition. I do not want to be a litigator. I'm more of the warm and fuzzy type. Or so I thought. Today while we were practicing with our opponents, a strange thing happened:

I became the Hulk.

No really. My little pear shaped body was taken over by brain rage (the academic alternative to 'roid rage) . I suddenly got really in to the competition, scribbling notes for my rebuttal argument with rigor, squirming in my seat, looking around for TUMS so I could foam at the mouth during my conclusion. It was alarming. I had to sit on my hands to keep from throwing punches. (unsuccessful...sorry, Your Honor)

What I'm getting at here is that I think I have a new calling: Ladies and Gentlemen, you are looking at the new, improved, and slightly less green version of the Hulk.

Maybe I should take up wrestling? Or surrender myself to a lifetime of motivational speeches against steroids? I'm open to suggestions.