Home for the Holidays

Exams are over and I'm finally back home for the holidays after being away all semester. So I've been spending lots of time with (some familiar looking people who claim to be) my family. It's nice. I do not remember anything about exams. In fact, I do not really remember anything about the entire semester. (Don't worry, future clients, it will come back to me!) The only thing I do remember is that legal citations require you to put all punctuation outside of the parinthesis. But in the real world, where the rest of you humanoids live, I can't remember where the damn punctuation goes. Inside or outside!? I've had this dilemma several times since school got out and I'm about to lose it. I literally sit in front of the computer and do this: (insert text here). (insert text here.) (insert text here). (insert text here.) (insert text here). (insert text here.) (insert text here). (insert text here.) (insert text here). (insert text here.) Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I never thought I'd say it: Someone get me back to school!!!

To My Devoted Fans...All Three of You:

I now understand why everyone says law school is so difficult. Details to follow after exams. See you the 17th (if I don't get hit by a bus first...here's to hoping).

Hilarious Letter I Thought Up Last Night:

For my non-law student readers, I'm sorry to bore you. For my law student readers, you're welcome.

Dear Property Prof,

After reviewing indefeasible vested remainders, vested subject to open, vested subject to divestment, executory interests, contingent remainders, and the Rule Against Perpetuties; it's official: I have no future interest in living.

Sincerely,
Buried in Books

There's No Wrong Way to Recycle?

After printing out rougly 15,000 pages of notes for my studying, I decided I should do something nice to get back in to Mother Earth's good graces. So I started thinking about composting. It's good for the soil, helps reduce waste in landfills, and will increase my feelings moral superiority. Perfect.

Unfortunately I live in an apartment, and I know there's no way Pete would let me have a box of composting worms living on the porch. So I cleverly decided to put up an ad on Craigslist: Want my rotting leftovers? My loss is your gain! In no time I had made arrangements with my new friend, Craigslist Composter, and I'm now saving up food scraps for him each week. (side note--While I was talking to CC on the phone, he asked if we were vegans. I didn't know how to respong properly, and before I could stop myself I blurted out, "No, not vegans, just feeling guilty!" Wtf! I hate myself.)

Yesterday was our first day, so after dinner Pete and I put all the chopped up veggie pieces and uneaten stuff in our little compost box. I had just finished washing up dishes and putting things away when I heard the rustle of plastic. I turned around to see Pete SNACKING on our fresh compost! HOW am I going to save up for Cragslist Composter if Pete EATS it all!?!? Pete claimed he was just doing his part to recycle. I hid the compost box.

Sigh. Wish me luck.

How to Single-Handedly Clear Out a Forest:

I spent two hours yesterday just printing out my outlines for exams. Then I had to go buy binders and dividers and get Kinko's to drill holes (YES, using a DRILL) in all the pages so I could get the mass of paper in the three-ring binders. Then I had to put everything together, color code, and create tables of contents so that when I totally blank during exams, I can flip to something and copy irrelevant information directly from my notes.

From this I have learned two lessons:
1) Organization is a great tool to avoid actually studying
2) A law student's carbon foot print is 10 times higher than the average person.

Sorry, GPA. Sorry, Earth.

Not Quite a Love Letter

Dear Beginning-of-the-Semester-Self,

I hate you. Your notes are incomprehensible and overly detailed. It's taking me a lifetime to sift through everything and find things that matter for my outlines. And many times, YOU DIDN'T EVEN WRITE DOWN the main point. I just want you to know that if I fail, it's all your fault.

Sincerely,

End-of-Semester-Studying-for-Finals-Self

Notes from the closet

...The storage closet that is. This weekend my brother-in-law and Pete installed electricity in what has now officially been deemed, "The-Eternal-Cave-of-Studying-and-Flashcard-ing-Complete-With-Light-Heat-and-Green-Tea." It's awesome. How did I come into possession of such a flashcard and green tea laden den? The story goes like this:

Several weeks ago, after an addictive string of home improvement shows on HGTV, I went on a rampage and cleaned out our storage closet located outside on our balcony. I proceeded to put down carpet, assemble shelves, and decorate. (My landlord would love this.) I moved in a desk, tapestry, pillows, blankets and a space heater. (Observing this from inside, Pete repeatedly complemented my "manic" behavior) Anyhow, since there was no outlet, I had to run an extension cord from inside the house and it sucked. I could only have one dim little light. It was like living in the allegory of the cave, only Plato never showed up. Or it was sort of like being a bear. A bear trying futilely with it's mushy bear brain to understand future interests and the like.

But today is a new day. A new day in which my cave is much more like a real office. A new day in which I am not a bear, but a human (albiet still trying futilely with a bear brain to understand future interests) Today I can drop 12 pounds and go on a study bender because the bright light and lack of windows prevents me from realizing I've been trapped in a 4x8 storage closet for 36 hours. There might be hope for my exam performance (not to mention my beer belly) afterall.

So thank you brother-in-law, thank you Pete, and most of all, thank you manic, uncontrollable urges to pretend like I'm on Design on a Dime. I couldn't have done it without you.