How tall do you have to be to ride the emotional roller coaster?

I'm only 5 feet tall. When I was a kid my parents used to take us to this theme park, Knobles. I was never tall enough to ride the roller coasters and this infuriated me. Now, here I am, all sixty inches of me strapped in and locked down on one wild ride. Let me detail the reasons I believe I am on the verge of a nervous break down:

• The other night I dreamt that the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and I was hysterical about it. I woke up highly perturbed.

• I am scaring people in my Torts class, because it's so boring I can't help but peruse the internet. My new favorite stomping ground is http://icanhascheezburger.com/. Imagine how creepy it must be to sit behind me as I look at talking cat photos.


• I giggled all through property thinking about hobos and Adverse Possession.


• I was thrown in to a fit of rage in legal writing when the girl next to me started whining about how she didn't want to read for Criminal. Step aside, chubbs, I'm sure there are many people who would be happy to take your place at this school.
  
• I didn't do the reading for my Civil Procedure class when I knew today was the day my row had to explain the cases. This is not like me. Generally, I read the entire text book each night, just to be safe.


• And finally, what really worries me is...I HATE MY CAT. Really. I do. But tonight when my fiance took her to his mother's house because the landlord is coming over and hates the cat more than I do, I cried like I would never see her again. (Here's to hoping)

When I'm crying about a cat I despise, something is wrong.

What I'm getting at here is that through my whole childhood I could never ride a freakin' roller coaster when I felt like it. Now I'm being pushed on to one without my consent and flying all over the place unprepared. Tomorrow I have to have lunch with one of the Deans of the law school. Bet I'll make a great impression when I burst in to tears and/or hysterical laughter over my turkey sandwich.

Shit.