Woman in a Man's World

I've been working with two others on document review for a partner this entire week. It's been miserable and he knows it. He told us he would "take us out drinking" to thank us for our dedication to the project. I wasn't really interested, but of course I would have gone to make a good impression and be a team player. Apparently yesterday he came in to our office right after I left for the day and asked if we could go right then. So the two men I work with went, and I had no idea about any of it. I only found out this morning because the another clerk, who was not on the project, let it slip. That made me feel even worse, because I realized the two guys I've been toiling with all week probably just weren't going to tell me at all. Awesome.

I mean, I didn't really want to go anyway, but it still stings a little bit. It's not a big deal and I know it wasn't intentional, but it's these unintentional, little slights that make me worry I will feel like an outsider for my whole career.

I guess I'd better steel my feelings and get over it, it's a long road ahead.

Post Script: The partner told Curtis he would have his assistant, Candy, take me and the other female clerk to lunch sometime. To make it up to us. Thanks.

Jobs

When my fellow clerks aren't fighting about Jesus or 18th century Russian literature, they tend to talk about jobs and the job market. Here are my thoughts: HOLYHELLIDONTEVENKNOWWHATIWANTTODOANDIWILLNEVERGETAJOBSOIWILLJUSTSPENDMYDAYSDRINKINGREDWINEANDCRYINGINTHEBATHTUB...and so on and so forth.

Thinking about jobs has made me realize: I am not really passionate about any particular subject. I mean, I think they are all okay. I don't really mind anything. But I'm not dying to do anything. Is this a bad sign? Shouldn't I be clamoring to defend civil rights or prosecute criminals? I mean, shouldn't I care about something? Maybe if these were different times, I would care. But can I really afford to be picky? It's not like there are a ton of legal jobs out there. But at the same time why should I launch my career in to something just ho-hum after all these years of school? (Oh, right to pay off 100,000,000,000 dollars in school loans.) Shouldn't I try to live my dreams...or something?

Does it make me a bad lawyer that I will just try anything? Does that mean I shouldn't have gone to law school? Did I just waste all this time and money? There are some things I do know, but none of those things help me narrow it down much...

1) I don't want to hate myself for my work or be bored out of my mind
3) I want to be able to work from home...eventually
4) I want to be able to have a career and a family and a life
5) I want to make enough money to live comfortably, save for retirement, and pay off my loans

See what I mean? These are not exactly things that will help me hone down the list of places to apply, or give me anything to talk about interviews. (Oh yes, I want to work for you because I'M LAZY.)The only thing I think would be really cool is to work in government and/or do something with international law. But let's be honest, does real international law even exist? And who would hire me for government work when there are people like Hillary Clinton around? And will it be a problem when I refuse to wear pants in federal buildings or foreign countries? So many questions...So few answers. Am I doomed? HALP!

Update

I cannot blog because The Tudors has taken over my life. I laugh, I cry, I try to get Brandon Walsh to play the fife...But I do not leave the couch.

In other news, I saw this guy driving on a major highway this weekend. I'm wondering if my fellow law clerk was in the car, stipulating about why Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans (her hypothesis: to rid the city of sin...Cringe.)

There's just really no reason to get off the couch when people like this guy are out and about. Tudors it is!

I wish it WERE the end of the world...

Other clerk at the firm is reading out of the Book of Revelations and trying to determine whether the gulf oil spill is part of Armageddon. I have no words.

Why I Married Brandon Walsh

After he tried (the one time) to attend my work out, I received this message:

I'm writing to you from the office today. Specifically, the floor under my desk at the office. Why? Because I crawled here. Why? Because in an effort to get in shape for our upcoming beach nuptials, I allowed my beautiful fiance to talk me into going to a class at the gym called 'Body Sculpting'. I have to believe that actually sculpting my body (with a chisel) would have been less painful.

So here I am, sprawled out on the floor, trying not to alarm anyone, but desperately needing help getting into my chair.

Reading for Fun

Has anyone read David Sedaris' new book, When You Are Engulfed in Flames? Hilarious. Like laugh-out-loud, snort-until-your-husband-wakes-up, impossible-to-pretend-like-you're-asleep-and-he-was-actually-the-one-snorting, funny. I enjoyed it immensely. Brandon Walsh may have a different opinion.

Back!

Well we're back from Mexico and adjusting to the real world. At the resort we had a lazy river that connected our room to the main pool and pool bar, so while at work I fantasize about drinking on the job and try to figure out how to construct a lazy river from our bedroom to the kitchen. Not only am I now A Married Person, but it is also obvious that I am a Highly Prized Member of the new law firm. Now back to blueprints...

Wedded Bliss...

Good Decisions

We leave for our destination wedding in Mexico tomorrow. Since I am afraid of UV exposure, I went to Nordstrom's to get an airbrush tan to even out my bathing suit lines before I don The Strapless Dress over the weekend. What was I thinking?

I hope Brandon Walsh is comfortable being Jon Smith, because he is about to marry Pocahontas.

I'd love to write more, but I'm busy painting with all the colors of the wind.

Back in a week. Hopefully I'll be less brown by then.

Who needs sleep

I'm getting married in 144 hours. Which means I will probably go to sleep in about 155 hours. I suspect I will need the extra-coverage concealer.

Good Omen?

In addition to getting a JD and an MBA, Curtis must also be getting a degree in atmospheric science. He informed me today that it is not, in fact, hurricane season and that there will not be storms in Mexico while we're there getting married! Thanks Curtis, I'm so glad I know someone who can see past all the lies NPR has been spreading so maliciously!

Hurricane Alex Makes Landfall Along Mexican Coast

In reality, kids, I am likely getting married in the middle of a hurricane. If that's not a sure sign of a stormy marriage I don't know what is. Luckily, I am already used to Brandon Walsh passing gale force wind (frequently), so I think we'll be just fine.