I have recently noticed that all of the ads played during my favorite television programs are for things like Life Alert (all. senior. citizens. should. have. life. alert.) and the Lifetime Music Collection of Elvis Presley.
The Good News: I have 14 Episodes of American Greed on DVR
The Bad News: I am a geriatric.
30 January 2010
27 January 2010
Regrets
Federal Courts is getting out of control.
Today there was a monologue.
It was not spoken by the professor.
I laughed, I cried, I begged the registrar to let me drop the class.
To no avail. I'm stuck listening to theories about why terrorists hate America (my hypothesis: law students), how we got in to the current recession (my hypothesis: law students), and who found a way to subvert due process by creating military tribunals (my hypothesis: law students). What I thought was going to be an ironic blow of class has turned in to a nightmare. Once again, I'm the punchline in the humorless joke that is law school. Very funny.
Today there was a monologue.
It was not spoken by the professor.
I laughed, I cried, I begged the registrar to let me drop the class.
To no avail. I'm stuck listening to theories about why terrorists hate America (my hypothesis: law students), how we got in to the current recession (my hypothesis: law students), and who found a way to subvert due process by creating military tribunals (my hypothesis: law students). What I thought was going to be an ironic blow of class has turned in to a nightmare. Once again, I'm the punchline in the humorless joke that is law school. Very funny.
24 January 2010
How to make your comment more interesting.
8 pages in to my comment. Have taped two straws together. Am sipping directly from a full size bottle of wine. The situation has officially deteriorated.
Strangers in the Night
Pretty sure this guy has been following me from house to house since I was about seven years old. Quit picking from the scraps, little guy, you're cute enough to come inside! Just don't tell Brandon Walsh. And if possible, try not to give me rabies.
Exercise
Went to a kickboxing class at school of law fitness center this week. I was showing Brandon Walsh my new moves and he said, "Who teaches your classes, a cartoon character?"
Apparently I was "flailing." Rude.
Apparently I was "flailing." Rude.
16 January 2010
Rationalization.
I have a 40 page comment to write for my stupid law journal. I could have worked on it over the break and kept myself from a frenzied attempt to research/write/cite in 36 hours, but that would have required me to use my brain for more than just remembering to digest food.
So now, in the midst of trial prep for my child advocacy clinic, 2 million cite checks, and sedatives reading for class, I also have to figure out how to write 40 pages in just a few days. Not to worry though. I printed about 400 pages of research from Westlaw yesterday, so I'm feeling pretty accomplished. Every time I think of getting started, I just look at the stack of articles I have and convince myself that I've already made good progress.
If worse comes to worse, I'll just pick 40 pages of research at random and staple them together as my final draft. Is that a code of conduct violation? Because it doesn't feel like one.
I think I'll be fine.
So now, in the midst of trial prep for my child advocacy clinic, 2 million cite checks, and
If worse comes to worse, I'll just pick 40 pages of research at random and staple them together as my final draft. Is that a code of conduct violation? Because it doesn't feel like one.
I think I'll be fine.
13 January 2010
Forgot an essential character in the mix:
11. Guy who laughs too loud at professor's jokes.
I will kill him.
11. Guy who laughs too loud at professor's jokes.
I will kill him.
11 January 2010
Federal Courts: Day 1
My Federal Courts book makes me want to pull a Rip VanWinkle, but my actual Federal Courts class is a blogger's goldmine. I have every law student prototype in the book!
1. Frat guy in fleece vest, long-sleeved T, shorts and boat shoes (It's 45 degrees)
2. Angry fat kid who will defend the impartiality of state judges to his death
3. Annoying know-it-all/gunner/egomaniac who is overeager to talk about subjects better suited for her psychiatrist's office
4. Blonde twinkies wearing enough make up to clear out a Sephora and enough perfume to drown a horse
5. Hippie apple computer user in a button up Mr. Roger's sweater (how's SoftTest treating you?)
6. Kid who couldn't be bothered to take a shower for the first day of class...or any of the three weeks preceding the first day of class.
7. Kids who furiously write down every word/non-verbal expression the professor says/makes.
8. Kids who take notes by hand (you think you're better than me, don't you?)
9. Philosopher-King, and
10. My personal favorite, those sweet suckers at the end of the curve...Slackers
Day 1: One of the horse drowning twins says, "Abortion is like, a fundamental right." Congratulations, blondie, your Con Law professor is probably (a) trying to fail you retroactively (b)contemplating suicide (c) All of the above.
Being back in school isn't all bad, afterall.
1. Frat guy in fleece vest, long-sleeved T, shorts and boat shoes (It's 45 degrees)
2. Angry fat kid who will defend the impartiality of state judges to his death
3. Annoying know-it-all/gunner/egomaniac who is overeager to talk about subjects better suited for her psychiatrist's office
4. Blonde twinkies wearing enough make up to clear out a Sephora and enough perfume to drown a horse
5. Hippie apple computer user in a button up Mr. Roger's sweater (how's SoftTest treating you?)
6. Kid who couldn't be bothered to take a shower for the first day of class...or any of the three weeks preceding the first day of class.
7. Kids who furiously write down every word/non-verbal expression the professor says/makes.
8. Kids who take notes by hand (you think you're better than me, don't you?)
9. Philosopher-King, and
10. My personal favorite, those sweet suckers at the end of the curve...Slackers
Day 1: One of the horse drowning twins says, "Abortion is like, a fundamental right." Congratulations, blondie, your Con Law professor is probably (a) trying to fail you retroactively (b)contemplating suicide (c) All of the above.
Being back in school isn't all bad, afterall.
09 January 2010
So True.
As seen on one of my favorite blogs:
People hate lawyers. Lawyers hate people.
It's a vicious cycle.
People hate lawyers. Lawyers hate people.
It's a vicious cycle.
Demonstration that law school grades are totally arbitrary:
Got an A in my European Union class. I originally thought the exam was on Tuesday, but realized that Sunday night it was actually scheduled for the next morning, a Monday.
Will probably get a C in evidence, which I actually studied for.
Got an A in my European Union class. I originally thought the exam was on Tuesday, but realized that Sunday night it was actually scheduled for the next morning, a Monday.
Will probably get a C in evidence, which I actually studied for.
05 January 2010
This semester I'm in the Child Advocacy Clinic, which means I am the lawyer for a child in a CPS case. The whole ordeal seems interesting, but also pretty tragic. After a depressing day of training, I had a small chuckle when I read a chart of what kids are afraid of at certain ages. At one year old, the chart lists that children are afraid of separation from parents, being injured, strangers, and falling in to a toilet.
Gotta love kids.
Gotta love kids.
02 January 2010
Over the Break
1. Tricked a law firm in to taking me on for the first half of this summer. When they called to offer me the position, I said, "REALLY?!??!" Not that I'm desperate or anything. I waited like at least 16 hours before calling them back to accept. So now both halves of my summer are officially filled: Sorry, myriad prestigious law firms begging for my attention (zero...), I'm off the market.
2. Gained approx. 4,000 pounds. I can probably no longer ride elevators (safety first).
3. Did a bit of research for a local firm for a few bucks an hour--cool supervising attorney, interesting work, good pay. Not a bad gig.
4. Opened a joint bank account with Brandon Walsh. Eek. We're basically married financially, now we just have to play catch up on the legal end this July. (BW--it's not too late for me to take all your money, disappear, and get off scot-free, so you better take out the trash in the morning.)
5. Got a cite check from my law review on New Years Eve. I hate you already, 2010.
6. Neglected my blog...Sorry. I know all four of you were sorely dissapointed when I failed to wrap up and deliver a hilarious/profound Christmas post for you. I was so busy forgetting about law school (read: checking my grades every 7 minutes) that I let the blog slide.
In any case, I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas/Happy New Year/Blissful Break! And if you see me in an elevator, I suggest you wait for the next one.
2. Gained approx. 4,000 pounds. I can probably no longer ride elevators (safety first).
3. Did a bit of research for a local firm for a few bucks an hour--cool supervising attorney, interesting work, good pay. Not a bad gig.
4. Opened a joint bank account with Brandon Walsh. Eek. We're basically married financially, now we just have to play catch up on the legal end this July. (BW--it's not too late for me to take all your money, disappear, and get off scot-free, so you better take out the trash in the morning.)
5. Got a cite check from my law review on New Years Eve. I hate you already, 2010.
6. Neglected my blog...Sorry. I know all four of you were sorely dissapointed when I failed to wrap up and deliver a hilarious/profound Christmas post for you. I was so busy forgetting about law school (read: checking my grades every 7 minutes) that I let the blog slide.
In any case, I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas/Happy New Year/Blissful Break! And if you see me in an elevator, I suggest you wait for the next one.
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