Law & snOrder

C: Why is it that every time I watch Law & Order, I immediately lose consciousness?
P: I don't know, but that does not bode well for your career.

Uh oh.

Dirty Deeds

After another coma-inducing property class on deeds to land, I'm glad Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are dead. It was probably a law student who killed them. 629 P.2d 800. The only glimmer of humor was when my property prof said the following: "The court basically says, your argument is stupid...I paraphrase."

Not laughing out loud in your cubicle? Then you must have joy in your life.

I'll take what I can get.

It's Good to Have Friends

Turns out, despite my anti-social tendencies, I am occasionally grateful to know other humans.

Example:
Me: Yeah, I am so bummed out that school starts this Friday
Friend: Friday?
Me: Yeah, I am not looking forward to it.
Friend: Uhh...school starts Thursday. Tomorrow.
Me: (internally succumbs to hopelessness)

Example:
Having a dispute about our legal writing moot court project-
Me: No, we argue against each other
Friend: No, we are on the same side, we argue against another pair. Didn't you listen during the moot court meeting?
Me: No, I had two margaritas large glasses of mineral water before that meeting. I was too busy loudly criticizing our classmates. And anyway, you're wrong. I am positive we argue against one another.
Friend: (asks third person for input, friend is correct)

And on that note, I should stop drinking at breakfast

As Seen on the way to Class...

Bumper sticker: "I pray. Get use to it."

Thought: Jesus hates you because you can't spell.

Breakfast of Champions:

It's Friday afternoon. My friend calls to tell me she went to the library to print something off and saw everyone in our section eagerly doing homework and whispering in study groups. It freaked her out, to say the least. I tell her they are probably just studying because they did horribly last semester. She is not convinced. I then proceed to pass out while watching a 3-hour made for TV movie about mariticide on E!

This, folks, is what they in the literary world call foreshadowing:

I am going to fail law school. But at least I'll be well rested.

The Ghost of Cases Past

"Whether the source of the spectral apparitions seen by the defendant seller are parapsychic or psychogenic, having reported their presence in both a national publication and the local press, defendant is estopped to deny their existence and, as a matter of law, the house is haunted."
Stambovsky v. Ackley, 572 N.W.S2d 672 (1991). [emphasis added]

How to Get a Summer Clerkship:

Trying to get a friend's dad to help me find a job. Our conversation on G-chat:

me:  you can tell him of my great reputation and excellent hand writing...who wouldn't want a pantless-handwritten wonder?
Allison:  you shuld put that on your resume
Allison: under special skizills
me:  hahaha. i should put some bling on my resume. dot all the i's with rhinestones 
Allison:  and sprinkle it with cocaine
me:  yeah!they would get really excited about me, "I just have a really good feeling about her! Who wants to hire some hookers?!?!"
Allison:  YEAH

The up-side: I just got my first non-immediate-rejection letter from a potential summer internship position! A lawyer here in town responded to my email and invited me to come talk with him about interning.

The downside: It doesn't pay. Oh, and he's a personal injury attorney.

Would I be willing to sell my soul for the low, low price of $0?

We'll have to see...

The Glass Celing

At Bickel & Brewer, the power code is made clear when recruits are invited to "Call-Back Weekend" in Dallas, which takes place each fall. "When I greet them at 9 a.m. that Saturday, I'm in a suit and tie -- and so are they," says Michael Gardner, the firm's hiring partner.

I guess this asshole isn't hiring any women. Sometimes people try to tell me that sexism is dead and feminism is useless. But it's subtle little slip ups like this one that show that our prejudices are still there, swimming just beneath the surface of a $1200 suit. And tie.

Caveats.

Sometimes when I'm reading a case it feels like a mystery novel. I really just want to skip to the last page to find out what happens. So I hurry through the pages in order to figure out what the court decides. Then I get called on in class:

1. I remember nothing but the first three lines and the holding of the case.

2. I try to make up details based on my limited knowledge of mystery novels (Think: Goosebumps)

3. I fail law school

Um...Well...The court decided that the fact that...mattered...in the case...which was decided...and...the conclusion...which was concluded...when they

...decided...the holding...which involved the fact that...there were issues...concerning the case...which...as you know...turns on the facts...and key issues...regarding...

I'm pretty sure this girl is in my ConLaw class:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

Why Law School Sucks Part II

"It's my job to make you miserable, they pay me the big bucks for it."
--Con Law Prof

Why Law School Sucks

"Here's the question: What am I thinking?"
--Property Prof

Just talked to a friend's mom who is a attorney in Maryland for almost an hour. She told me to drop out of law school and called me an asshole at least three times. I love her.

When the going gets tough, the tough steal government uniforms

The flu is now running rampant through campus. I'm thinking of revising my wardrobe:



Just call me Mat, HazMat.