Bar Exam

I survived.

More on that later.

There is an LOL Cats Bar Exam page on Facebook.

And I have been on there browsing for hours.

And I know nothing about the law.

WTF

I sometimes wonder if Barbri has even looked at the essays for my state in the last, say, 15 years. Almost every question has some element I have never heard of.

Do you hear me Barbri?! Why didn't you teach me about strips and gores? Why didn't you teach me that a landlord has no duty to repair after a big storm until the insurance gives her the money? Or maybe you could have explained just what exactly fund trapping is and how it works? Why didn't you teach me that there is no way I am going to learn all of this and I should just give up and flee to Mexico before the department of ed starts looking for their loans?!

These are the kinds of wills I am dealing with.

I hereby leave all my estate to my dog, Noodles, because I despise my only sister, Karen, who harassed, humiliated and embarrassed me both publicly and privately since we were both children. In the event Noodles predeceases me, I leave my entire state to the SPCA.

I'm starting to feel.
(Breathe)
A little crazy.
(Breathe)
About this test.

Gulp.

Seriously?

I am on an email list for Real Simple magazine (love!) and they send me little tips and recipes and stuff. Well today I got an email. Re: If you do just one thing this month.

"If you do just one thing this month, brush up on stain removing tricks."

Yeah, that's the one thing I'm going to do this month.

Thanks, Barbri

"For 'adult movies' there must not just be some redeeming social value; it must have serious redeeming value. For example, it would not be sufficient that an otherwise obscene movie included short tips on the importance of brushing teeth."

A different kind of bar life

Her: I got kicked out of a bar last night.
Me: What?! How?!
Her: My roommate stole a drink off the bar and gave it to me. I got nabbed while drinking it!
Me: Who steals a drink at a bar?!
Her: Apparently we do. But you don't understand. It was so blue and it had a little pineapple on the top of the glass!
Me: That does sound tempting...
Her: Unfortunately, it was also very easy to identify when the bartender realized it had disappeared.

I miss having a social life. Or any life at all. I want to drink a blue drink with a pineapple in it. But, alas, I don't even remember the last time I wore real pants.

Victory!! ...and Defeat.

We caught the mouse in the humane trap!! BW woke me up in the middle of the night and we drove Barrister out to the golf course a few miles away and set him loose in the greenbelt! Victory!!

I seriously woke up this morning with a huge weight lifted from my shoulders (isn't that ridiculous!?). Unfortunately some of that weight is back because I learned my hard drive is about to fail (again...). I sure hope that (1) the new hard drive comes quickly and can be installed before the bar exam and (2) the board of law examiners will let me download another copy of ExamSoft even though the deadline has passed.

If not, I'm joining Barrister in the forest.

I'm going to get the plague

Pretty sure the mouse lives in my couch. FML.

True or False

1. I contacted pest control to get rid of Barrister
2. I then started feeling guilty about murdering Barrister
3. I then called Brandon Walsh at work to get his read on whether or not I should have the pest control guy come after all
4. I decided to trick the pest control guy in to coming anyway, to spray for bugs
5. I had a heart-to-heart with the pest control guy about getting rid of Barrister
6. The pest control guy confessed that he once had to kill a mouse and it almost brought him to tears
7. I was almost brought to tears thinking of Barrister in a mouse trap
8. I spent a small fortune on the internet buying "humane" mouse traps, which will probably end up not working
   
9. The website says to check mouse traps often to be sure the mice don't overheat. Hilarious.
10. I am losing my mind

True. All of the above are true.

Mouse in the House

I'm subletting from a friend this summer. Apparently the apartment came complete with a mouse. It pooped on my desk. Brandon Walsh saw it last night scampering around.

I really do not want to live with a mouse.

But he's so tiny and cute, I also do not want to kill him.

I shall name him Barrister. And he shall poop on my desk and help me understand the mens rea for all the different murders. Until I get up the courage to do him in.