Annoying

I grew up thinking it was impolite to talk about money.

Apparently I was wrong, because every time I tell ANYONE I am in law school, they immediately feel the need to comment on how much money I will be making. What is wrong with these people?! I don't comment on how much money you will be making as a restaurant owner/accountant/teacher/hooker. You would find me rude (unless you're a really laid back hooker). But for some reason, because I'm going in to law, its acceptable to the general public to talk about my future salary.

WHICH. By the way. Is not going to be as large as you imagine, general public. The legal market is crap right now, and I'll be lucky to find anything, not to mention something that pays well. I nearly have a nervous breakdown every time this conversation takes place. Brandon Walsh has to drag me off before my forced smile gives way to weeping and gnashing of teeth. It's a problem.

So frustrating. Am I alone in this? Does this happen to other people? Or am I walking around with a big sign on my back that says 'Please comment on my earning potential'????

The Woes of Being Unpopular

"Martinez alleges that on or about October 20, 1998, [defendant's] employee negligently dumped a container full of tires on him at the Michelin tire facility."

Ouch. Take a hint, Martinez.

I finally said it.

"No one cares what I think. I am a law student."

Federal Courts professor was not impressed, but sometimes the truth hurts.

New Olympic Game Ideas

There's a new Olympic sport this year called men's ski cross. Basically four guys ski this crazy track at the same time and try to pass each other up without getting all tangled and dislocating a hip. I watched it all weekend and it was awesome. I didn't know you could just add sports to the Olympics. Since I have comment revisions, reading, outlining nothing better to do, I've been thinking up new ideas of Olympic sports.

1. Ice Jousting - An athlete mounts a Shetland pony on ice skates. The pony skates across the rink toward the opponent and each athlete tries to make the other fall off their pony. Extra points if your pony does a triple axle.



2. Something along the lines of this commercial where you're skating on a spinning ice rink. But instead of taking the easy way out (...Apollo) competitors have to skate against the direction the ice rink is spinning and see who can reach the finish line fastest.



As long as I can't be in the Olympics, I can at least make them harder for everyone else. Just don't indemnify me when PETA sues the Olympics or Apollo Ono breaks his skull. Thanks.

Lessons

I've been cooking bouef bourguignon all day long instead of doing anything productive. I know they always say you should only cook with wine you would drink, but hello you could be drinking all that delicious wine instead of boiling all of the alcoholic goodness out of it!!!

...Which explains why (1) I cook with crappy wine, and (2) it is three in the afternoon on a Friday and I am drunk.

Also, if I can't have this:

I will die.

Law School Rots the Brain

Today a woman from Brandon Walsh's church called me in a panic thinking we were getting married next month. She told me that her paperwork stated we were to be married in mid-March. Brandon Walsh and I are getting married in Mexico in July, so I knew she had made a mistake. Without thinking, I asked her if she had reviewed her records de novo.

It's official. I'm losing it.

Snowmageddon

School of law had to close today because of a snow storm.

Hell has literally frozen over.

I am elated.

Ouch.

When I was in college, I used to drink beer in the shower. These days in the shower, I have to drink a big bottle of water to swallow my self loathing after I get my ass kicked in (1) class, (2) court, and (3) the gym.

The downside: I suck.
The upside: I bathe.

Small victories.

Best Class Ever

Today Federal Courts professor started texting while one of the sociopaths in my class was espousing his views on the New York terrorists trials.

I think professor hates this class more than I do.

Maybe I should ask him if he wants to go get a beer sometime. Via text. While in class.